imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
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