Sponge bath it is.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
