i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Randomize
