i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
