Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Randomize