i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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