so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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