So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
