so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
