this is a mass text: i just made a grilled cheese with an iron and pasta with the coffeemaker in the hotel room. bow before your new god.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize