this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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