Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
