recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Randomize