You don't have asthma, your pregnant
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Randomize
