I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Randomize
