shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
