I have demons in me.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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