anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize