They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
