I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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