Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Randomize
