i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
