I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Randomize
