in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
