I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
When are your genitals available?
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
