dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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