just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
