i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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