My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Randomize
