Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Randomize
