its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
