do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
