How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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