90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
