I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
