We should be called the Road Head Warriors
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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