so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
