Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
