sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
i wish my penis had a tongue
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You're gonna die alone anyway. Even if you do meet a man, they die earlier than women. Best case, you have to deal with grieving over his death and then die alone a couple years later. Worst case, you get a terminal illness and he divorces you, leaving you to die alone anyway.
Thanks, mom.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
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