The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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