508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
