I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
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