no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Randomize
