Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
