It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
