Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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