I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
