Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Randomize
