Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
