Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
