Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
