I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
These tits shall not be calmed
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
