I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
