just come out here and I will go home with you...
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You may now shotgun with the bride
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
