You're my little dorito
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
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