Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm just crazy horny about you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
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