You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Randomize
