My liver just broke up with me...
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
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