Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
