I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Life is so much better after having sex.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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